30 Day Gender Queer Challenge: Day 5

Dysphoria and how you manage it.

My dysphoria usually comes in the form of anger at how other people see me. People take one look at me and assign a binary gender and all the stereotypes that go with it. The stereotypes are the worst. The idea of a non-binary gender doesn’t even cross their minds. I live in a conservative area. One of my best friend’s parents is transphobic and it terrifies me on a daily basis that I’m different from everyone else not because it’s weird, but because people seem to just naturally hate things that are different. It terrifies me that people don’t understand or can’t understand the concept of a non-binary gender or a genderless individual. It took me years to fully understand what gender was, but eventually the concept was able to click. I took the time to look into other cultures and how they see gender and that really helped.

Looking into other cultures and mythology also helped me deal with dysphoria. As mentioned in a previous post there weren’t a whole lot of gender neutral or queer role models for me to look up to so I ended up having to look deeper and farther a field to find comfort. I ended up looking into Eastern Religions. Hinduism and Buddhism mythologies ended up acting like a balm and helped me deal with my dysphoria. In Hinduism nearly every god and goddess has both a male and female (and sometimes neutral) form. Buddhas also will change gender depending on what country they are in. While practitioners of the religions are very conscious of gender (Hinduism has specific gender roles and Buddhism is a male dominated religion) the philosophies behind them make me feel better about myself more than western religions do. I’m able to feel more spiritual because I see the gender binary as an Earth-bound concept and that biological sex doesn’t matter beyond the mortal plain of existence.

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