30 Day Gender Queer Challenge: Day 14

 Are you part of the Gender and Sexuality Minority community?

Not really? But I would like to be. I don’t have many friends at the moment and that has a lot to do with where I live (small town excuse again). I feel like everyone I know is nice and wonderful, but at the same time prejudice in ways that I can’t accept and wouldn’t be willing to compromise on. For example my coworkers: one of my coworkers is homosexual, but blatantly racist. My other coworker is smart as a whip and a fellow language nerd, but openly misogynist. My best friend’s mom loves her daughter’s friends like they were her own kids, but is transphobic and disagrees with letting transpersons in the military. I can’t condone these beliefs or behaviors because it directly affects and hurts me. It feels like everyone I know, they’re nice people, except for X.

And I’m worried that it’s going to be that way with everyone I meet. Obviously nobody is perfect but I do have some very important beliefs I’m not willing to compromise on and I want people to be understanding of that.I don’t think that’s too much to ask of people. For example, I don’t like children but I’m not going to begrudge anyone who does or be unwilling to babysit or take care of a child when the need calls for it. I think I’ll be a very good babysitter when my siblings have kids. Not being comfortable around children is a little different from the prejudices I mention above because the root of my discomfort is “Oh, shit! what if I break it?” As adults I think it’s within my coworkers ability and power to understand and inform themselves about their own fears and prejudices instead of just accepting their quirks because they are otherwise decent people. Everyone is prejudice, but they shouldn’t let that emotion control them in what they say or do.

I’m looking for an open and accepting community that is willing to talk about these issues and find solutions and tactics to eliminate prejudice in all its forms. Being feminist isn’t an excuse to be transphobic. Being trans isn’t an excuse to be racist. Being asexual isn’t an excuse to be homophobic. Obviously, but I don’t want to be part of a community that automatically starts assuming what prejudices and pointing fingers because finger pointing doesn’t do anyone any good. I want to belong to a community that is willing to learn and willing to teach. But it’s up to the individuals themselves to strive to learn everyday. Thus far, I haven’t found a group like that in real life, but there are some budding online communities that are really close to meeting the criteria. Do we agree on every issue? Absolutely not, but we don’t lose respect for each other over it. I consider it my job to continue learning and growing as a person first and foremost so if no one else, I can be the person I need me to be.

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