Carnival of Aces: Joining the Asexual Community

[This is my submission for the Carnival of Aces October 2016 with the topic of “Joining the Asexual Community”hosted this month by Yapbnweca]

My activity within the asexual community is restricted to online just because I live in a remote area and don’t have much opportunity to meet new people or travel to a city for meet ups. For me my community is made up of the dedicated folks on tumblr and the resources managed by The Asexuality Blog such as the Ace Chat and the pen pal project. It’s also through the Carnival of Aces that I’ve found a sense of belonging from the blogs I follow and from the submissions I get to read every month.

It’s fitting that my community experience is primarily online because it’s through the internet that I found out about asexuality. It was by reading person blogs that I was able to find the answers I needed. If you type into Google “why have I never dated at 25 years old” you’ll find a bunch of B.S. pages about “waiting for prince/princess charming” and “not to give up hope”. When I asked that question over a year ago I didn’t need “hope” I needed answers. It was the asexual community that provided the information I needed that I hadn’t been able to find anywhere else. It’s really sad that it took so long to discover such a key part of myself.

More than liking science fiction, more than being an absolute disaster in the kitchen, even more than my physical attributes that I see in the mirror everyday- Asexuality is a fundamental part of who I am as a person. It would have been nice to know that side of myself sooner. I owe a huge debt to the folks in the community who are speaking up against hate, against psudoscience, and getting the word out that asexuality exists and  that we are not alone. So, to everyone in the community doing their best to make the world a better place for asexuals and LGBTQ+ individuals everywhere- thank you.


4 thoughts on “Carnival of Aces: Joining the Asexual Community

  1. yoonede

    I was just thinking the other day about how grateful I am for the internet ace community, and how lucky I was to finally stumble on asexuality when I was googling “I can’t stand to have sex with my husband”–before I found asexuality I found all these articles about how “witholding” sex is emotionally abusive. Yay for finding community!


    1. Ouch, it sounds to me like the articles claiming “withholding” is abusive should be fact checked. Dubious consent isn’t consent. Seriously, how is reluctant sex enjoyable? That’s not just an asexuality issue; Other sexualties can have (and do have) low sex drives.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: A Carnival of Aces: October 2016 Round-up of Submissions: Joining the Asexual Community | Yapbnweca

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