Mini Vent (or No, Seriously What the Hell?!)

Cockroach milk is the superfood the world’s been waiting for

-New York Post July 2016

First of all, ew. Just ew. Second, how the hell do you milk a cockroach? I really hope this is a hoax, but even if it is there are some people out there who are going to believe it and start chowing down on cockroaches.

Don’t get me wrong. Bugs are amazing and are a major staple in some places. But perhaps you mean “cricket flour”? Which is actually is a thing. It does’t taste very good, but people make energy bars out of it. Nobody eats energy bars for the taste anyway.

Again advertisers are throwing around the word “superfood” which is advertiser speak for “anything better for you than a cheese burger”. I get that food companies have it hard. It’s not like the latest I-Phone or tablet where people are going to buy more than they need and stand in line for hours to do it. I have a smart phone, a laptop, and a tablet like a good little consumer. In the food industry you have a lot of competition and people usually eat the same amount of food. You’re not going to get people to each more food than they already do. So, the question is, how do you make food “sexy”?

Exotic superfood you’ve never heard of with magical cancer fighting properties. Boom! Millions of dollars in sales. First of all, these foods often come from developing countries who don’t have regulations on pesticides, don’t have EPA standards, and are usually a local staple.

For example, quinoa. I am not a fan of the taste because I think it’s really bland actually. Also, quinoa is the rice equivalent to the local population in South America. Suddenly millions of Americans want this “superfood” and it jacks up the price. Now many locals can’t even afford what was a staple food for them. The really sad part is just plain old rice and beans is just as good if not better. Black beans and rice is one of the easiest recipes to make, it’s a super cheap meal if you’re a college student, and it does everything quinoa does without robbing people of an important food staple that’s part of their culture.

Blueberries are definitely a superfood that’s overlooked. Local produce sold at farmer’s markets are superfoods. Spinach has been known as a “superfood” for years, but we only buy one type in grocery stores because that’s the kind that travels and stores well. There are several kinds of local variations that get overlooked because they have a shorter shelf life. You could probably grow those variations in a garden at home.

The key to a “super” diet is variety and a little common sense. Take that money you would have spent on fast food and throw together an easy meal. My cooking skills are nonexistent really, but one of my favorite dishes is one I got from a Tai restaurant. It’s just pan fried veggies and a ton of garlic. Simple, easy, and delicious.

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