Sensual Attraction (Is Really Freaking Weird When You’re Aro-Ace)

I’m definitely aro-ace. Since puberty hit I’ve never felt sexual attraction towards anyone and I’ve only felt romantic attraction once. So, on an average day there’s zero blips on that radar. Sensual attraction is another story.

According to the AVEN website, sensual attraction is a “desire to engage in sensual acts with a certain individual (kissing, cuddling, hugging, hand holding, etc)” and I’d say this is pretty on par with what I’ve felt. The only problem is I feel that magnetic pull to kiss/hug/cuddle/etc without romantic or sexual attraction to provide context. It was hella weird in middle school and it’s still hella weird now.

I distinctly remember feeling sensual attraction for the first time in (I think) the 7th grade because it was such a weird and random feeling. I was in science class and I just got this really, super strong urge to kiss one of my classmates on the cheek. I was naturally freaked out as hell by this because 1) I didn’t know this student very well, 2) certainly didn’t even like this student in any capacity (romantic, sexual, friendship or otherwise), and 3) I don’t actually like people touching me randomly without warning. I’m relieved that I have a label for it now.

I would say the most common sensual attraction urge I get is to hug or cuddle people I’m sensually attracted to, but occasionally I’ll feel the urge to randomly kiss someone. I don’t get these kind of sensual urges with my closest friends or with my family, but I’ll sometimes feel sensual attraction towards coworkers or acquaintances. It’s just a weird feeling I get sometimes and I don’t really want to go through the mess of trying to explain it to people in RL, but I felt I should at least elaborate on it a little bit since I do hint at it on my bio pages. I feel sensual attraction towards other people and it just feels weird to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯



4 thoughts on “Sensual Attraction (Is Really Freaking Weird When You’re Aro-Ace)

  1. As someone who is so fully demisensual (see my May Carnival of Aces post) it is nice to read what it’s like on the other side of the coin – desiring in this way from strangers (perhaps even exclusively and in opposition to having the attraction toward friends and family) … 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Linkspam: December 22nd, 2017 | The Asexual Agenda

  3. Erin

    I actually feel exactly the same! No romantic or sexual attraction, only sensual. And just like you, I sometimes get random urges to kiss or hug random guys and it really freaks me out sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Gabriel R. Davis

    This is pretty much what I experience. I know I’m aromantic, and I believe I’m asexual as well. But I still get this urge to be physically close and intimate with other people, just without the romance or the sex. And you’re right: it is SUPER weird.

    Liked by 1 person

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