15 Day Asexuality Challenge: Day 3

Are you out? To whom? Tell the story of the first person you came out to.

I’m out to my younger sister, one of my younger brothers, my parents (technically), one high school friend and one coworker. The first person I came out to was my sister and she was awesome about it. Her reaction was like, “Okay, well, duh.” But she did pressure me into telling my parents before I was ready. That was a bit of a train-wreck, but it was a good lesson on the importance of T.P.L. (time, place, location) when it comes to coming out. Coming out is a very vulnerable position because you generally have no idea how people are going to react. I’ve also found out that I get better results when I just talk about my feelings without using community jargon. Instead of saying, “I’m aromantc/asexual” I say “I’m not comfortable with dating/I don’t think I need a significant other to be happy/I’m more comfortable being single/etc…” I play the “privacy” card like no tomorrow.

When somebody at work asks me if I’m in relationship (because that’s like the 1st question people ask me) I say, “Dude, I don’t even put that info on my Facebook. Privacy settings are a thing.” I feel more comfortable defending myself on a privacy issue than an LGBT+ issue. I firmly believe just because somebody asks you a question doesn’t mean they have a right to an answer. When in doubt, I plead the 5th.

It’s Private

I originally posted on my tumblr (which I deleted a looong time ago now) the December 2015 Carnival of Aces topic “Staying the the Closet”. The Asexuality Blog mentioned that while there were a ton of resources for Coming Out there were fewer resources for staying in. For the Carnival I wanted to give some affirmation for those folks who haven’t come out and/or don’t plan to come out any time soon.

And for perfectly a good reason! It’s private.

Continue reading “It’s Private”