Via (tumblr) metapianycist: A Rough Outline of Ace Tumblr history
Continue reading “rough outline of asexual community development on tumblr, or: how asexual discourse on tumblr got this way”
Asexual, Aromantic, Agender
[This is in response to the Carnival of Aces prompt for March hosted by Valprehension; The topic is “The relationship between gender norms and asexuality.”]
Continue reading “Sexism at Work (Carnival of Aces March 2016)”
According to the US 2010 census the US population was 308.7 million people. The current estimation is 318.9 million. Asexuals are estimated to only make up 1% of the population (according to Antony F. Bogeart the author of Understanding Asexuality) and in the US alone that’s at least 3,189,000 people who do not fall under the standard heternormative model. (and seriously, if you counted all the LGBT+ groups including non-binary how “normal” would hetero actually be?)
That means that if asexuals in the US were their own state they would have 4 seats in the House of Representatives and be the 30th most populous state- beating out the current population estimates of Iowa, Utah, Mississippi, Arkansas, Kansas, Nevada, New Mexico, Nebraska, West Virgina, Idaho, Hawaii, New Hampshire, Maine, Rhode Island, Montana, Delaware, South Dakota, North Dakota, Alaska, Vermont, Wyoming, and Washington D.C.
The world population is estimated to be 7.125 billion. One percent of that is 71,250,000. If asexuals world wide were their own country it would be the 2oth most populous country in the world- beating out the United Kingdom, France, Italy, Spain, and Canada and would be about half the population of Russia.
Is that big enough for you?
One of the trickiest things I have found as an aromantic, and a problem I have heard from alloromantic friends too, is distinguishing between romantic and platonic attraction. Learning the difference is a factor that contributes to many people realizing their aromanticism. Learning about platonic attraction, I have heard, also makes life in general loads easier and more enjoyable.
Romantic attraction is very loosly defined. Generally, most people include these in descriptions:
-“butterflies in stomach”
-always wishing to be with crush
-wanting to be physically close with person
-wanting to go on dates
-wishes of kissing, holding hands, embracing, etc
But this is not all it can be. Attraction is different for lots of people. The only question that really defines it is: “Do I want to be in a romantic relationship with them.”
Platonic attraction is something that most people feel, but many are unaware of its existence. Platonic attraction often is:
-hoping for conversations with person
-wanting to be emotionally/mentally close to person
-wanting to be physically close to person
-high excitement during/after conversation with person
-person brings joy during conversation
-general appreciation of existence
Like romantic attraction, this is very loosely defined. The general counterpart to “Do I want to date them” is “Do I want to be friends with them.”
Romantic and platonic attraction often overlap. Wanting to be physically close is something people experience through both types of attraction. Some people enjoy platonic kissing, and some people just appreciate their romantic crush’s general existence. Many people have trouble differentiating between the two. (These people often identify as quoiromantic.) There is no set way to determine what you are feeling. The label can only be put on by you.
Dysphoria is a psychiatric term meaning a “general state of unease or dissatisfaction”. The opposite of euphoria. Gender dysphoria is common in the non-binary, non-conforming, and transgender communities. I’ve talked to several people and there is a common thread of “I hate” or “I feel detached from my body”. I consider dysphoria a serious issue in the gender communities that needs to be addressed and resources should be made available even for people like me.
My dysphoria is a little different from the usual brand of “I hate my body”. I’m agender, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with my body. You could say it’s kind of grown on me. I’m not interested in any surgery or medical treatments that would make me look more androgynous than my clothes already do. I wouldn’t be able to afford them anyway. No, what I “hate” is how other people see me.