I figured out I was asexual because I had questions and Google lead me to an asexual blog where the writer said they thought originally they were “straight by default”. For me that was a light bulb moment. Similarly I thought I was gender by default. I didn’t know there was a third (and many more) option.
It’s hard when someone says “Put your big boy/girl pants on” and I can’t just come out and tell them, “That’s not my gender, your argument is invalid.”
I’m not pink. I’m not blue. I actually like to think of myself as green (because the color is present on both the aromantic and agender flags). And it’s not easy being green.