The Third Option

I figured out I was asexual because I had questions and Google lead me to an asexual blog where the writer said they thought originally they were “straight by default”. For me that was a light bulb moment. Similarly I thought I was gender by default. I didn’t know there was a third (and many more) option.

It’s hard when someone says “Put your big boy/girl pants on” and I can’t just come out and tell them, “That’s not my gender, your argument is invalid.”

I’m not pink. I’m not blue. I actually like to think of myself as green (because the color is present on both the aromantic and agender flags). And it’s not easy being green.

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It’s Private

I originally posted on my tumblr (which I deleted a looong time ago now) the December 2015 Carnival of Aces topic “Staying the the Closet”. The Asexuality Blog mentioned that while there were a ton of resources for Coming Out there were fewer resources for staying in. For the Carnival I wanted to give some affirmation for those folks who haven’t come out and/or don’t plan to come out any time soon.

And for perfectly a good reason! It’s private.

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I Should Have Known I was Asexual/Aromantic Sooner

I should have known I was asexual/aromantic sooner (I didn’t realize I was either until I was in my 20s) because of music.

People are shocked to find that I don’t like listening to the Beatles like it’s sacrilegious or something to not like a particular flavor of music. In this case, pop music (we’ll save the “Beatles are totally pop music” debate for another day).

It feels like 99% of pop songs (especially the top 40 hits) are all about one thing. Continue reading “I Should Have Known I was Asexual/Aromantic Sooner”