What is your favorite types of cake? (Or, is pie an acceptable replacement for cake?)
I love both cakes and pies. Apple pie is my favorite and chocolate cake is my favorite.
Just looking at these beauties I can hear the “Hallelujah” chorus playing in my head.
What is the worst argument you’ve heard against asexuality?
I’m not sure if “worst” means “ridiculous” here or more like “moon landing was faked”. The difference being that the latter is accepted by an alarming number of people. I guess the worst argument is that sex=human, humans are sexual beings, “be fruitful and multiply” and similar veins of thought.
It would make more sense to me if the argument was “to love is to be human” with the understanding that love comes in many forms. There’s love for one’s country, love for mankind, love for the divine, love for the family, love in the form of friendship, and, of course, love in the form of passion. I think the problem lies in that English has one word to describe what was traditionally seen as completely separate ideas.
Traditionally the love for one’s country and duty to country was more important than the love and duty to one’s spouse. Modern thinking has completely reversed the idea of love and placed the importance on romantic passions above all else. Historically speaking, we’re the weird ones to think that way. Until modern times the idea of marrying for love was seen as irresponsible and actually looked down upon as a sin. One needn’t look further than a high school text book to see at least that much. So with that understanding I think the argument of humans as sexual beings (while ignoring the other capacities of “love”) is odd because it’s almost like we regressed instead progressed as a society.
What do you believe causes asexuality?
I think it’s part genetics, part environmental. I personally think that I was born asexual or rather that I was always going to present as asexual. I’m the oldest of my siblings so it makes evolutionary sense for me to remain with my family unit as a caregiver/nurturer rather than go off and make my own family unit. The character archetype I identify most with is The Mentor. My instincts tell me to gather knowledge and share it with the group. I’m infatuated with information and information gathering. I think every sexuality is an evolutionary adaptation that benefits us as a social species and serves a different purpose. It’s not against “God’s Plan” to be gay, lesbian, bi, pan, or whatever. If it were against the “natural laws” it wouldn’t exist. You can’t violate a natural law. It’s like trying to violate the law of gravity. We exist because we’re supposed to exist.
What do relationships mean to you?
I have so few relationships right now and none of them are what I would consider ideal. I blame Hollywood for a lot of things. Society has built up what romantic relationships should look like, what friendships look like, even what family relationships look like and I think those models are very far from reality. Speaking of reality, reality television isn’t much better at portraying relationships (because reality TV is all SCRIPTED!!!).
I think that’s sort of the point really. When dealing with actual relationships there is no script, there are no outtakes, and we kind of just play it by ear. Each relationship is going to be different depending on the individuals involved. I understand that my view is a unique one. Today two of my coworkers just randomly asked for advice about relationships. I was really caught off guard because I’m so bad at interpersonal relationships even though I have a B.A. in Communication Studies. The basis for both of the questions was “What does it mean when…?” and I guess they asked me because of my assigned gender, but the point was they needed outside perspective and I didn’t really have a clue what to tell them. So I guess in a only a few words, relationships are a mystery to me.
What is your favorite asexual pride image?
This one is easy. I adore the asexual Captain America Shields. I make my own using a photo editing program and digital coloring pages. Thinking about it right now makes me want to buy an Avengers coloring book and deck out all the Avengers in LGBT+ pride colors. I’m thinking Hawkeye would look very good in pan pride colors. If anyone else finds a superhero coloring book and colors the heroes in pride colors I would love to see it. I’m not very good at shading, but if I find a coloring book I’ll post the pics.
In the meantime here’s the shields I use-
Your favorite “asexual” book (as in, sex and/or romance are not the main focus) and/or Your favorite “asexual” movie.
My favorite “asexual” book is the same book that gave me my infatuation with reading and sparked my life long obsession with dragons; Patricia Wrede’s Dealing with Dragons.
Dealing with Dragons a cracked fairytale story where the main character is a princess who runs away from home to avoid an arranged marriage and she asks a dragon to “kidnap” her. If I had to pick a book that has impacted me the most in my life and as an author, this 100% the book I’d pick. It was fun, it was different, and remains one of my all time favorites.
My favorite “asexual” movie is The Martian.
I love science fiction and I feel like I’ve been waiting years for a good hard science fiction story to come out. Soft science fiction is very similar to fantasy, which is nice and I enjoy it, but nothing tops the feeling of seeing the pure sense of possibility play out on screen.
The great thing about both these works is romance isn’t a focus and doesn’t even affect the main characters. The adventure is it’s own reward and love is no the “prize” they win at the end. I hope to stumble upon more stories like these in the future.