AAW Prompts Cont…

After looking over the rest of the AroSecAwarness week prompts I realized that they really didn’t apply to me or I would only be able to write a few quick sentences.

Wed 17- Romantic relationships
I’ve never been in a romantic relationship. This is what helped me realize that I was aromantic, but I think the relationship thing is also because I’m aro/ace. Since I wasn’t sexually or romantically attracted to anyone (or at the very least attracted enough to want to start a relationship), I can’t really say much about relationships. I wish there had been aro/ace characters in the media that I could relate to or more education opportunities that would have allowed me to realize my identity sooner.

Thu 18- Nonromantic relationships
Actually if I really wanted to I probably could have expanded this into an entire post. I genuinely am open to the idea of a QPP (queer platonic partnership), but there really aren’t a whole of resources for me to go about finding a partner in that capacity. I’m not out as aromantic and only out as asexual to a few. I’m out as agender to only one friend. Unless I’m out in the open about who I am I don’t have a lot of faith in finding a relationship.

Fri 19- Coming Out
Since my coming out as asexual to my family wasn’t the most positive experience in general I haven’t really made any attempts to do so again. It’s not a secret, and I have dropped hints with a few of my coworkers, but I don’t plan on being fully out anytime soon.

Sat 20- Future identification
The only good thing about finding my identity as late as I did is that I know this is who I am and this is who I’ve always been even if I didn’t know the names for it. Still it would have been a lot easier if I had known early on that I could opt out of romance and say that it’s not for me without worrying that there was something wrong with me. I think my life would have been better knowing about aromanticism sooner because then I could have used all that energy I spent worrying towards other, more productive things.

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blvkandasexual:

You’re Not Helping Anyone: Examples of Acephobic Sex Positivity

How is this above picture acephobic?:

Obviously, it states that those who don’t enjoy sex are weird or unnatural. Though we all agree that slut shaming needs to end, this isn’t the way to do so. This post is an example of why asexuals will say that we feel ‘broken’.

This entire episode of Glee (x)

How is it acephobic?:

Throughout the Glee episode, it is enforced that sex is required for intimacy, those who do not show interest or abstain from sex are ‘naive and possibly frigid’ (direct quote), those who abstain from sex are just uneducated, and that everyone experiences sexual feelings once they fall in love. Though the premise is good, as it poked fun at those who were against sex education and want abstinence to be taught in schools, the episode is just…. yikes.

[tw for acephobia and ableist language] (x)

This was sent to an asexual who had wrote so in their okcupid bio. Picture reads as follows:

“Just to give you a quick idea here, I have zero interest in you at all, I just thought your answers to some of the questions were interesting.

Because many women on this site think that not sleeping with your partner before marrying them or marrying someone who is “asexual” or not attracted to anyone/thing is more of a problem than you think.

First of all, sex plays a huge part in any healthy romantic relationship, be that relationship ending in some kind of union or not. Human beings, like any other animal on this blue rock, have a single, solitary purpose in this life, procreation.

Now, I am the farthest person to say that couples should be required to marry and have children, knowing that I am reluctant on the idea of marriage and and not at all okay with the idea of having kids, but I do know that as a healthy, sane human, I am given the urge to, like all animals, procreate.

And therein lies the whole reason of my message.

Any adult human being that does not take sex seriously is obviously either far too immature to be considered an adult or is not mentally sane; see “sociopath”.

Anyway, going to leave you with those facts, I apologize if you found them offensive, but don’t bother telling me if they were, because I really don’t care. This was just somehing I wrote whitlist waiting for my….

Peace.“

How is this acephobic?:

Frankly, this is your everyday acephobe who attempts to back their “opinion” up with “science”. Though this person is hesitant themselves to marry or have children, how dare an asexual due the same! Also, people who feel the need to be downright insulting while ending it with, “I don’t really care how you respond… I just wanted to say this!” are the epitome of immature and childish. How ironic.

For those of you who do not know: Ruth Westheimer is a famous sex therapist who was very popular in the 1980s for her blunt ways of speaking about sex! She touched on many sexual topics from gynecology to the best sex positions for couples.

Tweets read as follows:

Dr. Ruth: “Studies say that 1% of the pop. (population) is asexual. To me that’s 1% too much but sexuality is a spectrum so good that it’s so low and not 10%.”

Asexual Pride: “The insinuation that we’re a waste of space is offensive. Learn about our community before making blind, ignorant assumptions.”

Rachel J. Morris: @Dr.Ruth boo. I’m happy with my asexuality, asexuality isn’t something that ought to not exist, or have too many of us.

How is this acephobic?:

You go, Rachel! What Dr. Ruth has said translates into most asexual’s minds as, “Ya’ll are a waste of space because you don’t procreate or pleasure someone else.”. What she’s said is an example of why a good percent of the asexual community are hesitant to join or feel uncomfortable in sex positive spaces.

AWW Prompt: Discovering Aromanticism

aceoswords:

AWW Prompt: Discovering Aromanticism

Prompt from arospecawarenessweek: Write about your discovery of aromanticism… Discovering asexuality was the doorway to finding out other sides of my identity, including aromanticism. I live in a very conservative area so I was always under the impression that you only had two options, gay or straight (or variations thereof). I didn’t know there was a “none of the above" option…

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{For those that don’t feel like clicking here’s the text for Monday’s prompt:}

Discovering asexuality was the doorway to finding out other sides of my identity. I live in a very conservative area so I was always under the impression that you only had two options, gay or straight (or variations thereof). I didn’t know there was a “none of the above" option. Then the ace community talked about romantic attraction and I had to think really long and really hard about whether or not I really was aromantic. What made me hesitate was the fact that I LOOOOVE to read soppy, trashy, brain-bleach-worthy fanfiction. I thought “well, I like to read all this lovedovey stuff…” then I couldn’t really be aro. I didn’t think any of it was at all accurate of what romance actually felt like so I just kept waiting. It took several affirmations about how what I like to read doesn’t reflect on what I am and I had to stop listing to people who kept telling me I just “hadn’t met the right one yet” over and over and over. I took the slow route to sort out my feelings before deciding that, yes, I was aromantic. There was only time that I ever had that “I want to date you” feeling towards somebody and the sequential heartache that came with it not working out. I was 23 at the time and that was the only isolated incident in my life time. I don’t want people to use that single incident as an argument against my identity or an excuse to say I’m damaged or proof that the “right one” exists. I’ve fully accepted my identity as aromantic and asexual and I take pride in the many facets that make up who I am.

AAW Prompt: Complications

From @arospecawarenessweek‘s prompts:
Tuesday, February 16: Write about some of the complications you’ve come across as identifying or existing on the aromantic spectrum. You can include ways you’ve worked out problems that occur, or things you might still be struggling- it’s all up to you. Feel free to give advice to other people participating if you have any, as long as it’s okay with that tumblr user!

The biggest complication I’ve run into is visibility. Nobody’s heard of aromanticism so the common reaction is “oh, you just made that up”. When I’ve brought it up to people without saying “aromantic” and just talked about how I felt, I’ve had much better results. Another downside to being aromantic is romantic love is freaking everywhere. I pull up my netflix account and that’s literately the first advertised box to pull up. I have to dig a little deeper to find songs not related to the spark, the flame, and every other metaphor for romance. I find myself listening to more folk and folk rock music and songs where romance didn’t work out.

I’m not complete cynical about love though. I am open to the option of a QPP. I like the idea of having a special someone, just not in a romantic sense. #noromo

uoblgbtq:

Myth:
Aromantics are not affectionate.

Truth: Being aromantic does not mean being
unaffectionate. Like the romantic population, the aromantic population includes
those who are very physically affectionate, those who hate being touched, and everyone
in between. Many aromantics like hugging and cuddling, whether it’s with family,
friends, best friends, partners or sexual partners. Regardless of romantic or
sexual orientation, physical affection often does not have romantic origin.

uoblgbtq:

Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week from us at UoB LGBTQ! 

Here are some links to find out more:

Join us this week on our social media (Tumblr, Facebook & Twitter ) where we’ll be doing some aromantic mythbusting!

If you have any questions, feel free to message us on our social media, or email us at lgbtq@guild.bham.ac.uk.

AAW Prompt: Discovering Aromanticism

From @arospecawarenessweek‘s prompts:
Write about your discovery of aromanticism. That can include finding out about the term, realizing you were aromantic or on the aromantic spectrum, or anything else about the terms, community, or anything else relevant to your experiences. Definitely feel free to include feelings or experiences that helped your identification.

Discovering asexuality was the doorway to finding out other sides of my identity. I live in a very conservative area so I was always under the impression that you only had two options, gay or straight (or variations thereof). I didn’t know there was a “none of the above” option. Then the ace community talked about romantic attraction and I had to think really long and really hard about whether or not I really was aromantic. What made me hesitate was the fact that I LOOOOVE to read soppy, trashy, brain-bleach-worthy fanfiction. I thought “well, I like to read all this lovedovey stuff…” then I couldn’t really be aro. I didn’t think any of it was at all accurate of what romance actually felt like so I just kept waiting. It took several affirmations about how what I like to read doesn’t reflect on what I am and I had to stop listing to people who kept telling me I just “hadn’t met the right one yet” over and over and over. I took the slow route to sort out my feelings before deciding that, yes, I was aromantic. There was only time that I ever had that “I want to date you” feeling towards somebody and the sequential heartache that came with it not working out. I was 23 at the time and that was the only isolated incident in my life time. I don’t want people to use that single incident as an argument against my identity or an excuse to say I’m damaged or proof that the “right one” exists. I’ve fully accepted my identity as aromantic and asexual and I take pride in the many facets that make up who I am.